Below are some of the correspondences I have received concerning these captured documents.
************************************
Homer,
I got the following message this morning, from Phan Thanh Hao--I'm pasting part
of it below. She is a journalist friend in Hanoi who put an article about the
documents in the paper "Education and Times", which she publishes. (Dam is the medic)
************************************
Message:
Dear Wayne
Dam's sister, then another sister, then a brother called me when they saw the
article. Dam's parents were gone long time ago. His wife has been remarried
since they had no kids. He has another brother killed in the battlefield and
both didn't have there remains found to bring home.
The whole family want to go to Hanoi to meet me though I have explained more
than ten times that I am a journalist, everything on the newspaper is scanned,
however, what they want is to thank. The most difficult issue is that the whole
clan had enough time to gather a meeting: they were very please to have news
from their late brother, they are ready to forgive Homer -- so was the war, they
say, that man was kind enough to think of returning the documents -- but they
want to have Homer bringing the documents, they want Homer to tell the story by
himself and put the documents on their late brother's altar!
Be well,
Hao
************************************
Homer,
I think the most likely thing then is that Hoang Dinh Dam, the medic, was
carrying those other documents.
Perhaps casualties he treated.
Translation notes 4/16/05
There are three man people named:
Phan Thanh Sieu (military status unknown)
Hoang Dinh (Ngoc) Dam, a medic
Nguyen Van Hai.
Note: the translations are rough and incomplete.
Object 1: A notebook about 4" by 5", covered with a pattern of blue/black
diamond shapes.
The notebook seems to have been used by two people, or used by the same person
in two different ways. Opened one way, it begins with the words: DAI SO
(algebra) and contains mathematical formulae and problems?55 pages.
Turned upside down and opened the other way, it is inscribed ?Lines of
Remembrance? and is dated 28/10/65 or 60. The name on top is Phan thanh Sieu and
there are two or four names joined with hyphens along the bottom:
Xuan ? Son ? Lam ? truong ? Hai (these may be Xuan Son and Lam truong Hai)
On the next page there is a poem signed by lam-t-hai and dated 10-4 -1966. A
rough translation is:
The lines of memory are so strong
Tears flow down
We will part who knows how many years
So here I write a few words
To show my fidelity
The other pages until the book reaches the math problems are blank
Object two: A notebook, approx. 5 1/2 by 7 1/2. On the back cover is a daily and
monthly schedule, in English. The front cover has a colorful illustration of a
man and woman in traditional clothing; it has been reinforced, perhaps by the
owner, with a black cloth spine and corner covers.
The notebook frontispiece is inscribed ?Specialization Notebook, 1-1-1966, and
belongs to Hoang Dinh Dam (the middle name in places is Ngo rather than Dinh).
The book's sections are illustrated with pictures the writer drew and divided
into sections with such titles as ?Midwifery? ?Surgery?, etc. head & neck
arteries, leg bones (front and back
views), hip etc. On the last page, after the medical notes is one page with
results of several tic-tac-toe games (Vietnamese version: must have five X's or
O's in a row to win.) The medical notes and beautifully, meticulously done
anatomical drawings, and copious notes, look as if the writer hand-copied a
textbook.
Inside the book were four separate "Certificates of Commendation" that Hoang
Ngoc (Dinh) Dam received.
The earliest one dated October 20, 1965 cited his 'model' performance in serving
the wounded soldiers of the artillery unit (unit not mentioned). He was elected
(named) 'outstanding individual' for the year 1965. This certificate was issued
by Gia Lai province (or district).
The second certificate, dated December 22, 1966 commended Hoang Dinh Dam (date
of birth: 1-1-1944, job classification: nurse (medical personnel), unit: surgery
(my guess), native place: Thai Giang hamlet, Thai Ninh district, Thai Binh
province) for having "contributed to the building of a good unit during the
first 6 months of 1966." This certificate was also issue in Gia Lai and was
signed by the vice-commander of 'unit 280 C".
The third citation was also issued in Gia Lai on September 1, 1967 for
"accomplishments in the first 6 months of 1967".
The fourth certificate commended the man for his accomplishment "during the
general offensive and uprising of 1968. It was dated February 10, 1969. The last
three citations were signed by the same person, Mai Xuan Hanh.
The seal (stamp) that appeared in each citation referred to "Unit 280 - Southern
Vietnam Liberation Army". However, only the last citation (1969) explicitly had
this heading on the top of the paper.
3: a group of documents
1. The driver's certificate, with photo of Nguyen Van Hai, born 1943 Address:
Cong Thanh commune; Yen Thanh district, Nghe An province. The certificate was
issued 5/25/64. Inside is also what might be a membership card in Lao Dong
(Labor Party), with slogans and pledges to fulfill various economic plans.
2. A letter dated 12/12/67 from Cam Xuyen to Nguyen Van Hai the names of what
may be four friends are hyphenated on top (?)
The address on the reverse is:
Tran Van Tuyen
Hop Tac My Phong
Xa Cam Que (?)
Huyen Cam Xuyen
Rough translation:
I am writing in a hurry. I heard that you would be coming on leave to your home
town and re-arranged my schedule so I could come down. But when I got there, the
door was closed and no one was there. I visited your mother and family. Were you
not able to come because of something that happened to you, or because of the
Americans? All your brothers and sisters miss you, as do your young nieces and
nephews. I ask your permission to be your younger brother (a pledge of
friendship), and maybe we can meet at a [different date.] My family is well, and
is "eating rice". I'm sure we will all meet again in peace time, and will be
able to tell about all that has passed.
Signed "in friendship".
3. A letter from Bui Thi Thuan (no return address) a love letter to Nguyen Van
Hai.
Rough translation:
Dearest compatriot,
When you left I was speechless; I couldn't find the words to say. In every step
you take away from here, I carry with me the feeling that I have my older
brother ("anh" older brother--is a term of endearment in Vietnamese). Our
feelings for each other are as wide as the ocean. What is in your heart is also
in my heart. Your image has faded away beyond the bamboo hedge, but you brought
me to life. I was so moved when you told me to wait and do my duty, so touched
that I didn't know how to reply to your word. I don't know if you will permit me
to be your younger sister (again a term of endearment) and for you to be my
older brother. Now you have left to fight the Americans and I must stay here to
build the country. But I will see you again one day.
A quoted poem (?) follows
As long as there is still Heaven
As long as there is still earth
As long as there are still clouds
You and I will meet again.
When you left I didn't know who to talk to, to be with. You left behind your
spirit, which inspires me to keep strong. Now that you are on your way, I wish
you good health and success in the fight against the Americans to save the
country, so that we can be reunited one day. I promise to fulfill my duties as a
younger sister should while you are away, and when you sit to your meals,
remember that there is still a younger sister who waits for you.
4. Letter from a friend: on top: Van Cai and possibly a unit number (?) to
Nguyen Van Hai:
Dear respected older brother Hai
Today I passed by your house and heard from older sister that you had written
home. Why haven't we heard from each other for so long? I hear you are not
billeted with your unit but in someone's home--maybe that's why it's so difficult
to communicate with each other.
I wish you good health and that you perform your duties well. Well, I also wish
that we will be reunited after we complete our duty to the country. How is your
health compared to a year ago? I hope you're doing better. As far as our home
town, there have been many complications in the commune. A brother_____ recently
died (in battle?) and I feel so sorry for his wife when I see her. Tears come to
my eyes but I try not to cry so that she wouldn't feel so bad. In three months I
will return to the battlefield. My health is still good--no change. One more time
I wish you good health so that your driving will be steady, and as for me, I
promise you that I will keep on firing to the end. Goodbye from your younger
brother.
Ps: There's something kind of funny to tell you. Thang is now a Party member,
but he has been asked many times to join the army but each time somehow gets out
of it. I'm kind of angry about it--I don't know how he can face people in the
neighborhood. When I think of him, I get embarrassed for myself and the
neighborhood.
(a poem follows):
My brother will always be my brother
Our youth belongs to the mountain and the river
You are a red thread in our flag gone
To defend our home
Our fertile rice paddies
Through the hard sun
Through the rain
Your determination is not eroded
Your will does not waver
Many friends are just like you
Gone to fight the Americans
And fulfill our duties
5. Letter--a reply to Nguyen Van Hai from Le quy Thanh (a friend), dated 31
August 1967
(partial translation)
I miss you like a son misses his father.
I bought some cloth, and will buy some for your family if they need it.
On August 26-28 the hamlet was bombed and children and old people had to be
evacuated. Remember to write to me.
On the bottom is a note from Nguyen Van Hai's mother: me Xuyen. (me--mother)
Your departure had made me miss you so much; I will never forget you, son. I
feel sick with missing you so much.
There are also little lists in a different hand for items such as sop and
pharmaceuticals, with prices (?)
6. A number of small lined pages inserted in the black notebook. Some are math
notes, but there are four pages transcribed with poems from Ho Chi Minh's prison
diary.
************************************
I pasted the below from Ho Nguyen, my colleague who looked at the other
documents. I also got a few emails from Vietnam. What my friends there suggest
is that the documents be given to the Vietnam Veterans' Association in
Vietnam--this is a non-governmental organization of (mostly NVA) war vets; they
try to get many such documents to the families of the deceased and also try to
close out some of the cases of the 300,000 missing (!) the Vietnamese have.
There are a couple of ways these can be delivered. I would be more than happy to
take them with me in late May, and to have the hand-over photographed, and
receipted by the organization there, and to have them keep in touch with you
about any discoveries they make about the family (or families). Or, if you have
plans to go at any time, I can tell you who to see and how to arrange it.
In any case, it would be good also to have information on where exactly the
death took place and anything you know about the disposal of the body. Their MIA
teams try to find remains when possible.
best wishes, Wayne
Here's Ho's message:
Wayne,
I quickly opened and read several of the scanned documents on the swampfox
website that you attached below. The man in question, Nguyen van Hai, was
apparently a driver. The document included was a driver license in his name *
another document upgraded his vehicle class to include driving something like a
truck. From this license I have his home province, which was Nghe An (in the
central part of Vietnam * very poor region and full of revolutionary spirits).
The letters were mostly from friends * none was obviously from a lover. At 25
years of age, and having served for several years already, he may have left home
too early to have a serious lover. On the back of one letter was a few short
lines by his mother. Tears swelled in my eyes when I read those lines * his
mother expressed her pain in longing for him. Of course, we know that she never
saw him again!
As I read these letters, I wondered how many other American veterans still have
these personal effects of Vietnamese KIA's in their possession (I don't mean
souvenirs like guns and flags, but letters and personal records like citations,
commendations, licenses etc.) I also wonder if there's some way to get access to
them, study them and find out something about the background and thoughts of
their (deceased) owners. Reading these personal letters makes me feel like I'm
violating someone's privacy and intimacy * at the same time, I feel a sense of
attachment and connectedness to the person when I read the words of his loved
ones. I cannot forget the fact that these letters were the treasures, and the
only meaningful worldly possession, that these men carry with them * until their
death!
Ho
************************************
I sent on your website information to Vietnam, and some people there are trying
to help. Meanwhile I had some of the certificates of commendation translated. I
glanced at the other documents--they seem to be letters, and from my very
limited Vietnamese, letters perhaps from girl friend(s) or wives. Perhaps Hoang
Dinh Dam, who was a medic, was carrying these to friends, or had taken them from
wounded or dead comrades. So there may be many things to return to different
families there.
Below is the translation of his certificates (from a Vietnamese-American friend
of mine), containing some of Dam's vital statistics--his home town is a hamlet
not far from Haiphong.
best,
Wayne Karlin
(USMC Vietnam, 1966-67)
Translations:
First, there are four 'certificates of commendation" that Hoàng Ngọc Đảm
received.
The earliest one dated October 20, 1965 cited his 'model' performance in serving
the wounded soldiers of the artillery unit (unit not mentioned). He was elected
(named) 'outstanding individual' for the year 1965. This certificate was issued
by Gia Lai province (or district).
The second certificate, dated December 22, 1966 commended Hoang Dinh Dam (date
of birth: 1-1-1944, job classification: nurse (medical personnel), unit: surgery
(my guess), native place: Thai Giang hamlet, Thai Ninh district, Thai Binh
province) for having "contributed to the building of a good unit during the
first 6 months of 1966." This certificate was also issue in Gia Lai and was
signed by the vice-commander of 'unit 280 C".
The third citation was also issued in Gia Lai on September 1, 1967 for
"accomplishments in the first 6 months of 1967".
The fourth certificate commended the man for his accomplishment "during the
general offensive and uprising during the year 1968. It was dated February 10,
1969. The last three citations were signed by the same person, Mai Xuan Hanh.
The seal (stamp) that appeared in each citation referred to "Unit 280 - Southern
Vietnam Liberation Army". However, only the last citation (1969) explicitly had
this heading on the top of the paper.
Second, there is a set of medical notes and drawings referring to midwifery,
surgery, head & neck arteries, leg bones (front and back views), hip etc. Among
these medical notes is one page with results of several tic-tac-toe games
(Vietnamese version: must have five X's or O's in a row to win.) The names next
to the games apparently referred to the winners (I did this as a child so I
know!) I don't see Hoàng Ngọc Đảm anywhere on this sheet - maybe this sheet
didn't belong to him? Maybe he didn't win any game?
Third, there are pages from a notebook entitled "Lines of Remembrance" (what the
American soldier referred to as Mathematics Booklet"). One page contained a
4-line poem, dated April 10, 1966. The poem is quite moving - probably addressed
to a spouse or lover and talked about the tears of nostalgia, of loyalty and the
unknown number of years of separation. It was signed (?!) by Lam Hai. The
handwriting and the name are not those of Hoàng Ngọc Đảm. Other pages contained
technical notes on when heat changes liquid into vapor, dew point, and
relationship between atmospheric pressure and boiling points etc.
I recently received this email from a Vietnamese soldier about my website.
************************************
Dear Homer:
I've visited your website after reading about your story published in an online
Vietnamese newspaper.
I did read the translated version of the letter you'd written to the brother of
the V.C. whom you shot dead more than 35 years ago.
As an ex-soldier myself, I'm deeply empathic with what you'd been through during
the war. I was conscripted and sent to Cambodia to fight the Khmer Rouge in the
dying years of '70s and at the beginning of '80s when I was 20 years young. Many
of my friends who were 18, 19, 20 years of age at the time never came home.
Their remains are still somewhere in the Cambodian jungles. Some were "lucky"
enough to be brought back and buried in VN. A lot of my comrades returned home
with missing body parts.
I don't talk about the rights and wrongs of the war, but I'm sharing with you
about the enormous loss -psychological and physical- that we, the young, had to
suffer during the war. For that reason, you and I were in the same boat. I still
had nightmares years after I left Cambodia. From time to time I recalled those
Khmer Rouge combatants killed by us in the battles, and wondered should I feel
guilty for killing them? I believe their families may never have a chance to
find out where their loved ones' resting places may be.
It's very nice of you to return those keepsakes belonging of the killed V.C. to
his surviving relatives. I think they will appreciate it. I also read in that
article that the dead V.C.'s family has forgiven you! I don't know what you're
thinking now, but I don't believe you're guilty of anything. In combat, if you
don't kill the enemy, then he'll kill you. That's the cruel rule of war. The
people who must be guilty of those killings are those who forced you and me into
the theatre.
I understand well that we, ex-soldiers, will never erase those sad memories of
the deadly days, months and years from our mind. I've tried before, but failed.
However, with time passing, I consider that darkest period of my life as a
destiny imposed on me before I was even born. Hopefully, one day the eternal
peace will come to our life.
I hope you're feeling better now.
************************************
This is a letter I emailed to the newspaper reporter in Vietnam, who translated it and delivered it to Hoang Dinh Dam's brother, Hoang Dang Cat (the family name comes first in Vietnamese, and the personal name comes last...I.E. Steedly Homer)
Dear Mr. Hoang Dang Cat,
my address:
Homer R. Steedly Jr.
16 Pisgah Shadows Rd.
Hendersonville, NC 28739 USA
I speak no Vietnamese, but would like to correspond with anyone over there
who can read and write English.
I would love to have given the documents back personally, but I can't possibly
afford a trip to Vietnam. I am retired, on a fixed income and with recent
health problems, just don't have the money. Even if I did, I am afraid I am
far to shy to meet with strangers, whose language I do not even speak. I was raised
on a small farm and have always been very shy. I still do not know how I managed to
be a Platoon Leader and Company Commander in the Army.
I am very touched that you have an altar that keeps Dam's memory alive. It makes
me feel good to know that his brave soul is still honored in such a wonderful
manner. It hurts to think of the hundreds of thousands on both sides of that
tragic war, who still mourn the loss of their loved ones.
Sometimes the guilt of surviving can be overwhelming. What will I say, when I
enter into eternity? Is there a little known footnote to the commandment "Thou
Shalt Not Kill", that forgives killing in combat? Look what I did in the
ignorance and folly of my youth. I thought I was a true patriot. So why doesn't
that give me comfort at age 59?
Dam and I met by chance on a trail. He and I saw each other and both of us
attempted to shoot the other. I lived. He died instantly. For over a quarter
century I have carried the image of his young body lying there lifeless. It
was my first kill. I wish I could say it was my last. Why did a medic die and
I live? I don't know.
Maybe someday humanity will gain the wisdom to settle conflicts without sending
it's youth to kill strangers. Know that my website
www.swampfox.info is an attempt
to educate those, who have not lived the horrors of war. People should know
what
our leaders are doing when they resort to armed conflict to solve political
problems.
In my dying moment, Dam and many of his comrades will surely call to me. I am
not afraid...only saddened. Perhaps we will meet again as friends.
Respectfully yours,
Homer
Postscript:
I should have liked to meet Dam's relatives, but I simply cannot afford the cost
of the trip. I also do not know if I am really ready to handle such a traumatic
confrontation. I have only recently been able to revisit that time of my life.
It still troubles me deeply. I truly believe that Dam's name will be on my mind
at the moment of my death. I pray we may meet as friends in the hereafter. To
his relatives I say: Live every day of your life to its fullest. Live
them in his
memory.
Pray for a world in which such insanity is no longer necessary. Lets us
all work
towards that goal!
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